This is a transcription of an
actual Facebook conversation between me, my Step-mom, my little sister and my
Dad (using my step-mom's Facebook account instead of his own). They all live in another state.
Other than changing the names,
and removing one stray comment, I have not altered the conversation in any
way. Honestly, I couldn’t make up
something this nutty.
This is why I love my family.
-------------------- * ~ * --------------------
Step-mom: Remember the sick
deer last winter that laid under our picnic table? I found her body today :(
Me: Aw
dang. :-(
Little Sis: Where was it?
Stepmom: Just over the hill in the back yard. Bones looked like they
were laid on a hairy mat, skull about 6' away. :(
Little Sis: Thanks for the description because my next question was what
did it look like :) But that's pretty sad, sorry for your loss, I know how much
you liked her, you should make (Little Bro) bury it or something
Step-mom: It would probably end up next to the coon, which by the way,
I feel lucky not to have stumbled upon.
Me: Or
add the skull to your collection. :-)
Step-mom: Do you want it?
Me: Me?
If it could be mailed to me, then heck yeah!
Step-mom: Should I bleach it first? Do you also want mouse bones?
Little Sis: Ok, this is getting weird guys...
Step-mom: I'll also send you the bear skull. Wish I would have given it
to you when you were here.
Little Sis: Why do we have a bear skull?
Step-mom: Ask Robin. It's above the TV in the living room.
Little Sis: Robin, I feel like I don't want to know this...but why do we
have a bear skull in our living room? More importantly, why have I never
noticed it before?
Step-mom: My guess is that they have always
just been there. I remember moving from our house in California with a box that
said "skulls and stuff".
Dad (on Step-mom FB Account): This is Dad-doesn't
everyone have a bear skull?
Dad: Robin-this is Dad again-she cant mail you the bear skull
because then the mountain goat skull would get lonely.
Dad: Robin=me again-I told her she can't send you the bear skull
until its part of my estate.
Me: Seriously,
Dad? No bear skull? I got all excited for a minute. Sis, years ago when I
was a kid I found a young dead black bear up at HiHium (a fishing camp in British Columbia). It was mostly
decomposed, but I drug the head and paws back to camp. The caretakers gave me a
camp stove and an old pot and I boiled the last of the flesh off. Dad got the
skull, I don't know where all the claws went. I have a thing for animal bones
and skulls, always have. And yes, I would love a mouse skeleton. ANYTHING
like that. As for the deer skull, if it is clean (not stinky) then no, don't
bleach it.
And Dad - will me the dang bear skull, please? :-)
Step-mom's Sister: Good read guys :)
Little Sis: I've learned a lot about my family through this...Dad is way
too protective of his bear skulls, Robin likes skeletons, and my parents still
can't use their own Facebook accounts right...
Me: Sis,
you're just now figuring out that your family is a pack o' weirdoes? Really???
I mean, c'mon... Karl (my brother, who lives near them). 'Nuff said. ;-)
Dad: Careful about who is calling who
weird - Dad