A Pack of Weirdos

This is a transcription of an actual Facebook conversation between me, my Step-mom, my little sister and my Dad (using my step-mom's Facebook account instead of his own).  They all live in another state.

Other than changing the names, and removing one stray comment, I have not altered the conversation in any way.  Honestly, I couldn’t make up something this nutty.

This is why I love my family.

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Step-mom:  Remember the sick deer last winter that laid under our picnic table? I found her body today :(

Me:  Aw dang. :-(

Little Sis:  Where was it?

Stepmom:  Just over the hill in the back yard. Bones looked like they were laid on a hairy mat, skull about 6' away. :(

Little Sis:  Thanks for the description because my next question was what did it look like :) But that's pretty sad, sorry for your loss, I know how much you liked her, you should make (Little Bro) bury it or something

Step-mom:  It would probably end up next to the coon, which by the way, I feel lucky not to have stumbled upon.

Me:  Or add the skull to your collection. :-)

Step-mom:  Do you want it?

Me:  Me? If it could be mailed to me, then heck yeah!

Step-mom:  Should I bleach it first? Do you also want mouse bones?

Little Sis:  Ok, this is getting weird guys...

Step-mom:  I'll also send you the bear skull. Wish I would have given it to you when you were here.

Little Sis:  Why do we have a bear skull?

Step-mom:  Ask Robin. It's above the TV in the living room.

Little Sis:  Robin, I feel like I don't want to know this...but why do we have a bear skull in our living room? More importantly, why have I never noticed it before?

Step-mom: My guess is that they have always just been there. I remember moving from our house in California with a box that said "skulls and stuff".

Dad (on Step-mom FB Account):  This is Dad-doesn't everyone have a bear skull?

Dad:  Robin-this is Dad again-she cant mail you the bear skull because then the mountain goat skull would get lonely.

Dad:  Robin=me again-I told her she can't send you the bear skull until its part of my estate.

Me:  Seriously, Dad? No bear skull? I got all excited for a minute. Sis, years ago when I was a kid I found a young dead black bear up at HiHium (a fishing camp in British Columbia). It was mostly decomposed, but I drug the head and paws back to camp. The caretakers gave me a camp stove and an old pot and I boiled the last of the flesh off. Dad got the skull, I don't know where all the claws went. I have a thing for animal bones and skulls, always have. And yes, I would love a mouse skeleton. ANYTHING like that. As for the deer skull, if it is clean (not stinky) then no, don't bleach it.

And Dad - will me the dang bear skull, please? :-)

Step-mom's Sister:  Good read guys :)

Little Sis:  I've learned a lot about my family through this...Dad is way too protective of his bear skulls, Robin likes skeletons, and my parents still can't use their own Facebook accounts right...

Me:  ‎Sis, you're just now figuring out that your family is a pack o' weirdoes? Really??? I mean, c'mon... Karl (my brother, who lives near them). 'Nuff said. ;-)

Dad: Careful about who is calling who weird - Dad