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Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Pack of Weirdos

This is a transcription of an actual Facebook conversation between me, my Step-mom, my little sister and my Dad (using my step-mom's Facebook account instead of his own).  They all live in another state.
Other than changing the names, and removing one stray comment, I have not altered the conversation in any way.  Honestly, I couldn’t make up something this nutty.
This is why I love my family.
-------------------- * ~ * --------------------
Step-mom:  Remember the sick deer last winter that laid under our picnic table? I found her body today :(
Me:  Aw dang. :-(
Little Sis:  Where was it?
Stepmom:  Just over the hill in the back yard. Bones looked like they were laid on a hairy mat, skull about 6' away. :(
Little Sis:  Thanks for the description because my next question was what did it look like :) But that's pretty sad, sorry for your loss, I know how much you liked her, you should make (Little Bro) bury it or something
Step-mom:  It would probably end up next to the coon, which by the way, I feel lucky not to have stumbled upon.
Me:  Or add the skull to your collection. :-)
Step-mom:  Do you want it?
Me:  Me? If it could be mailed to me, then heck yeah!
Step-mom:  Should I bleach it first? Do you also want mouse bones?
Little Sis:  Ok, this is getting weird guys...
Step-mom:  I'll also send you the bear skull. Wish I would have given it to you when you were here.
Little Sis:  Why do we have a bear skull?
Step-mom:  Ask Robin. It's above the TV in the living room.
Little Sis:  Robin, I feel like I don't want to know this...but why do we have a bear skull in our living room? More importantly, why have I never noticed it before?
Step-mom: My guess is that they have always just been there. I remember moving from our house in California with a box that said "skulls and stuff".
Dad (on Step-mom FB Account):  This is Dad-doesn't everyone have a bear skull?
Dad:  Robin-this is Dad again-she cant mail you the bear skull because then the mountain goat skull would get lonely.
Dad:  Robin=me again-I told her she can't send you the bear skull until its part of my estate.
Me:  Seriously, Dad? No bear skull? I got all excited for a minute. Sis, years ago when I was a kid I found a young dead black bear up at HiHium (a fishing camp in British Columbia). It was mostly decomposed, but I drug the head and paws back to camp. The caretakers gave me a camp stove and an old pot and I boiled the last of the flesh off. Dad got the skull, I don't know where all the claws went. I have a thing for animal bones and skulls, always have. And yes, I would love a mouse skeleton. ANYTHING like that. As for the deer skull, if it is clean (not stinky) then no, don't bleach it.

And Dad - will me the dang bear skull, please? :-)
Step-mom's Sister:  Good read guys :)
Little Sis:  I've learned a lot about my family through this...Dad is way too protective of his bear skulls, Robin likes skeletons, and my parents still can't use their own Facebook accounts right...
Me:  ‎Sis, you're just now figuring out that your family is a pack o' weirdoes? Really??? I mean, c'mon... Karl (my brother, who lives near them). 'Nuff said. ;-)
Dad: Careful about who is calling who weird - Dad


  1. I love it! You should see all my skulls! I didn't know you liked skulls and bones and things?? Whoo hoo

    1. Of course I do; they are the armature, they give things their shape and structure, and they are fascinating to me. :-)

  2. And I thought my family was bad. I dont like mice.

  3. Skulls make great photo props...everyone should have a few.

  4. ROFL LMAO! We have a bear skull, er rather Mom has a bear skull... I think. Dang, now I need to make sure it's in the will. This would be a perfectly normal conversation in my family.

  5. That was hilarious!!! I come from a pack of weirdos too, in their own right. Every holiday we tell the most embarrassing stories of each other. Like the time I had to chase the dog around with a paper towel because she had something hanging from her backside (a sock I think, she loved to eat random socks) while the neighbors looked on and my family was watching me from the front window...

    1. Those kinds of memories are the best, because you get to laugh together over and over again!

  6. I love your family. What fun you must have when you all get together. Gerry

    1. Oh yes, Gerry! Sadly, this branch of my family lives in Iowa and I am in WA State; we've only all gotten together physically once. We rely on Facebook, mainly, but that doesn't mean we aren't close. :-)

  7. I am laughing so hard there are tears running down my cheeks! LOVE your family! Will they adopt me?